Introducing Team Scotland Eurobowl Top Trumps

As Team Scotland prepares to take on the World's Best in Poland next weekend it's time to get to know the team better. What better way could there possibly be than via the medium of Top Trumps? That's right. There isn't one.

As preparation for this article I asked the squad to rank themselves in 5 categories:

• Experience (XP)

• Bash (B)

• Dash (D)

• Risk (R)

• Hair (H)

No guidance was given, nor verification taken. I also requested a photo, a short bio from each and their highest race ranking.

Bowl Team

The Bowl team has 8 coaches. The Bowl is limited to national squads and those teams play off for the national honour of being crowned Eurobowl (or basically "World") champions. The highest ranked nation yet to host gets the honour of hosting the next Eurobowl - after Scotland in 2028.

So without further ado, match 1 pits Scottish captain BB_Jock against vice captain and NAF stat-man Sann0638:

So whilst Jock has a ton of experience, Mike's NAF Presidency provides the edge in XP. Jock's elfiness increases his Risk and Dash scores but Mike squeaks it on Bash. Mike is perhaps a little harsh on his own Hair ranking, but Jock takes a narrow 3-2 win.

Next up it's Blitzy vs Mournival:

Quite a tight contest here with some questionable self-rankings but Bruce's Bash score is balanced by Ryan's Riskiness and confident Hair self-assessment. This one ends in a tie: 2.5 - 2.5.

The penultimate contest is a pair of new caps - DazzaMac vs TalonBay:

After some early tit-for-tat it's even stevens, but TalonBay takes an unassailable 3-1 lead with a Risk score of 8 vs 3. Dazzamac takes consolation in a win on Hair to make the final score 3-2.

Last but definitely not least, a final clash of titanic proportions: Purdindas vs Camelchops:

Now if it were a photo contest (note coaches submitted their own photos...) we'd have a clear winner here. However, Ant's Experience gives him an early lead which is curtailed by a narrow loss on Dash. Kevin's middling Risk and low Hair score (I'd say at least a 3 for the beard alone) allows Ant to run away with a win by 3.5 to 1.5.

Open Team

Whilst the Bowl is happening, there's also the Open. This competition is for teams of 4 and isn't limited just to National teams - however many nations put in at least one.

Match 1 is the clash of the Aberdonians - Shriyke vs Fromherashes:

This one's too close to call with both coaches at a similar Experience level. One Bashes, one Dashes, Callum goes all-in on Risk, but Phil pulls out the tie with a 9 for Hair.

Last but perhaps least is a Chris/Kris-off. Sporran vs Stripeydave:

With Kris's inexplicably low XP rating, I'm off to a flyer. With a Human specialty you'd expect some middle of the road stats and Kris's Orc preference produces a win on Bash, but with a tie on Risk and my natural advantages in Hair, I win this one 3.5 to 1.5.

So I hope that's whetted your appetite for the upcoming Eurobowl in Poland. Keep your eyes on the Discord for round by round updates as the Scots go for glory in Warsaw.

If that's actually whetted your appetite for Top Trumps, then you're in luck! I'm planning on immortalising anyone in the Scottish Community who'd like to be a part of SBBC Top Trumps some time in the new year. Either that or an SBBC Uno deck. Haven't decided yet...